If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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