she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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