dude i'm inner monologue high
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I stole a fireplace last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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