I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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