wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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