How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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