sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
