Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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