i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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