last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
