If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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