How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
