And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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