how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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