found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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