you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
