i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
