just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
