It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize