Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is my gift to your gina
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
