no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
