Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
