Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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