Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
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IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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