Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
