He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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