Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
