I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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