We named our party play list daddy issues
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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