Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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