Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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