I am puke
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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