Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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