ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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