Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
