I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
