And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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