so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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