So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
