dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
