im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
