that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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