We won't sleep together?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just found a bag of teeth...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
