you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
