Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
