I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do vagina's smell?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
