i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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