she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
