I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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