Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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