Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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