ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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