What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
