In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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