im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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