i think i have herpe
just one?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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