After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
