I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You're like the curious george of whores
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
