How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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