Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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