Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
