i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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