At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
