Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
