Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize