Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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