My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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